WHEN HOLDING IT ALL TOGETHER IS WEARING YOU DOWN

Therapy for Perfectionism, Anxiety, and Trauma
in St. Louis, MO

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You know yourself pretty well

SO WHY DO THE SAME PATTERNS KEEP SHOWING UP?

You probably know your personality type, your Enneagram number, and maybe even your astrological chart (full disclosure: you’ll know more about that one than I do). You’ve read the self-help books, listened to the podcasts, and spent a lot of time trying to understand yourself. At this point, you could probably give a pretty convincing explanation for why you are the way you are.

And in many ways, it’s worked. You’re thoughtful, capable, responsible, and usually the person others can count on. You notice what needs to be done and take care of it, often before anyone else realizes there’s a problem. (And to be fair, the world tends to reward you for being this way.)

But all that self-awareness hasn’t necessarily made it easier to be inside your own head. You replay conversations, think three steps ahead, worry about what you forgot, and wonder whether you could have done something better. You’re exhausted from carrying so much, but slowing down can feel just as uncomfortable as continuing to push through.

FEEL FAMILIAR?

You Google “how to stop overthinking” and then overthink the results.

You sit down to relax and immediately start thinking about everything you should be doing instead.

You regularly find yourself asking , “Are you mad at me?”

You automatically say, “I can do it,” and then resent how much you have to do.

I’M HERE FOR YOU.

You don’t have to turn healing into one more thing to get right.

You don’t need to arrive with the right words, a list of goals, or another plan for how you’re going to become a better version of yourself. You’ve spent enough time trying to figure yourself out. What if you don’t need more insight, but a different way of relating to what you already know?

How Therapy Can Support You

  • You’ve gotten really good at figuring out who you need to be.

    You work hard, anticipate what others need, avoid disappointing people, and try to get things right the first time. These patterns may have helped you feel successful, valued, or connected, but they can also leave little room to figure out what you actually want or need.

  • No one has to tell you when you’ve made a mistake because you’ve already replayed it seventeen times.

    You hold yourself to standards you would never expect from anyone else. A small mistake, awkward interaction, or unfinished task can quickly become evidence of something much bigger about who you are. Therapy can help heal the experiences that taught you to relate to yourself this way.

  • If you think through every possible outcome, surely nothing can catch you off guard.

    You research, plan, rehearse conversations, look for reassurance, and run through every possible scenario before making a decision. Even then, you may still wonder whether you missed something. Therapy can help address what keeps uncertainty feeling so difficult to tolerate.

  • You’re exhausted, but somehow resting doesn’t feel particularly restful.

    Even when you finally stop, part of you is keeping track of what needs to be done next. You’re used to being capable, productive, and the person others can count on, which can make slowing down or receiving help surprisingly uncomfortable.

  • You know the past is over, but sometimes your reactions tell a different story.

    Past experiences can continue shaping the way you relate to yourself and others long after they’re over. You may notice yourself shutting down, pulling away, staying on alert, or reacting more strongly than you understand. Therapy can help heal what you’re still carrying so the past no longer has to shape the present in the same way.

WHAT IF THINGS COULD ACTUALLY FEEL DIFFERENT?

You’ve spent a lot of time trying to manage your anxiety, challenge your thoughts, set better boundaries, and be kinder to yourself. Healing can ask us to go deeper than managing the patterns we see on the surface. As we work with the experiences underneath them, the need to overthink, overfunction, please, perform, or push yourself so hard can begin to shift.

Imagine a life where…

01 YOU TRUST YOURSELF TO HANDLE WHAT’S NEXT

You spend less time questioning every decision, looking for reassurance, or trying to anticipate every possible outcome. Even when you don’t know exactly what comes next, you trust yourself to meet it as it unfolds.

02 YOU CAN REST WITHOUT FEELING LIKE YOU SHOULD BE DOING MORE

Slowing down no longer means battling the voice reminding you of everything left undone. You have more room to rest, play, and enjoy your life without feeling like you have to earn it first.

03 YOU NO LONGER FEEL LIKE A PROJECT THAT NEEDS CONSTANT IMPROVEMENT

You can still want to grow and change without constantly searching for the next thing to fix about yourself. There is more room to appreciate who you are now instead of always working toward the person you think you should become.

YOU CAN OVERTHINK THE NEXT STEP AND STILL TAKE IT.

Curious where therapy could take you?
Let’s chat.

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