When Food Feels Complicated: Reflections for Thanksgiving and Food Holidays
Thanksgiving can be a meaningful time to gather, eat, and reconnect. It can also be a time when food and body feelings get stirred up in ways that do not happen as much during the rest of the year.
Maybe you notice a part of you that plans out every bite in advance.
Or a part that braces against comments about your body or what is on your plate.
Or maybe another part that says, “It is just one day. Do not make it a big deal.”
Food can carry so many stories about comfort, control, and belonging.
Even before the meal begins, you might feel yourself slipping into familiar patterns around control. Many people describe an internal pressure to keep things contained or to get the day “right.”
As the day moves along, family commentary often enters the picture before the food even hits the table. Someone mentions how much is on someone else’s plate. Someone else talks about their own diet or says they are being “bad” for having dessert. A relative tells you that you look great, and your body reacts before your mind can catch up. Another person comments that an old family friend has “let themselves go.” Maybe none of it is directed at you, yet it still settles somewhere inside.
These moments can intensify the pressure you already feel. The urge to keep everything tightly managed grows stronger. The guilt after eating feels sharper. The rules feel heavier.
There are also holiday “hacks” that look harmless on the surface but carry their own pressure. Swapping a family recipe for the “skinny version.” Skipping breakfast to save calories. Running a Turkey Trot to earn the meal later. Choosing only the “clean” dishes even though they leave you unsatisfied. Drinking extra water to push off hunger. Throwing out leftovers before you feel tempted by them.
These patterns often begin from a place of care. They are things you learned, things that once felt protective, or things that gave you a sense of stability. Over time, they can turn into rules that are hard to step outside of, even when part of you longs for a different experience.
If you notice these patterns showing up this season, you do not have to fight them or force yourself past them. You might simply acknowledge them, the way you would acknowledge different voices around the Thanksgiving table. You might even offer a quiet thank you for the effort they have carried for so long, even if their strategies no longer feel helpful.
If food feels complicated for you this season, you are not alone. But, you deserve to have your body and your life feel like a place you can live in more easily.
